Song File: Always On My Mind Featured Version: Pet Shop Boys
As I begin to write this, I am currently working on ideas for something in the future. I had decided to listen to my Liked Songs on Spotify in random order since I didn’t have a clue as to what I wanted to hear. It is playing the Pet Shop Boys’ 2018 remaster of “Always On My Mind/In My House” and I am reminded of a weird little blip from my romantic life.
The song is nearly over, but I shall continue on nonetheless.
Back around age 22-ish, I got into a…relationship of sorts with a guy (my first one, long story). Back then I called him a boyfriend but, if that’s what he was, he sure was a horrible, horrible one. lol I came to refer to him my first lover, and I still consider him as such, just with some slight boyfriend behaviour, which is more accurate. I am not going to go into any of the details or into the in depth story with him as I don’t want to waste that much time on my memories of him right now. I just want to share the memory piece that the aforementioned song triggered. For the sake of this writing and any possible future mentions, I shall refer to him as Z.
At the point of this memory, things had happened and I was not happy with him. I was at one of the places I frequented for karaoke, and I was just singing the songs I had put up to do. I was enjoying myself when he showed up, and he found me. I forget how any conversation went, but I wasn’t going to let it ruin my night. I had put up Alanis Morissette’s angry anthem “You Oughta Know” because I wanted to sing it, nailing it and feeling great as I did. He had this odd look as I sang it and, when I came back, said something like “I deserved that”. I don’t think I responded to his presumption. I mean… I sang that song a lot back in those days because it not only showcased my power vocal abilities but was exhilarating to belt out; it was a fun AF song to sing. But whatever. He could assume if he wanted. lol
Of course, being karaoke, he had put songs up after arriving, so he was called for his turn. The Willie Nelson version of “Always On My Mind” began, and he sang, apparently meaning it for me. I nearly started laughing because, well, I knew he was just trying to get on my good side. That’s it. That’s all it was. Kind of anticlimactic, isn’t it? Sorry about that.
I don’t think of this blip every time I hear the song (most of the time it’s not even a tiny blip), but sometimes it triggers that little bit in the Z section of one of the chapters in the book of my life. He’s long gone and I would be fine with never seeing him again, but I did learn a lot about myself and what I didn’t want back then (plus there is one big-ish piece he had a hand in that I may tell the story of one day), and for that I thank him. I don’t excuse the rotten, stupid, and lame crap that either of us did in that entanglement, I will never let those things ruin an otherwise wonderful song for me. The BS will stay in the past, and the song will live on as the gem it is well into my future.
I have included below both the Willie Nelson version and the Pet Shop Boys version I mention at the beginning. I hope you enjoy them. The song also has an interesting history, so definitely do check out the Wikipedia entry HERE. It's definitely worth the read for any music lover.
Thanks so much for reading!
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Photo and videos in this post are NOT mine; copyrights belong to their respective holders.
